Couples Therapy | Marriage Counseling
You deserve a partnership that feels as solid up close as it looks from the outside, without either of you performing your way through it.
It's time to close the distance that has grown between you without losing the composure the world expects from you, so you can feel like teammates again instead of two people negotiating the same issues.
Couples therapy may
be a good fit if
Lately it feels like you and your partner aren’t on the same page.
Your arguments are not loud. They are cold, efficient, and always circling the same three things.
You have built an impressive life together and somehow ended up feeling like business partners instead of a couple.
One or both of you carries a public profile, and the version of your relationship other people see does not match the one you actually live in.
You have tried a communication exercise, a date night calendar, maybe even a session or two, and none of it touched what is actually happening underneath.
It's not just that you've drifted, it's that the skill
keeping you composed at work is the same one quietly running your
relationship into the ground.
And it's not your fault. No one ever taught either of you that the discipline that gets you promoted, staying composed, carrying the room, solving the problem alone, is the exact discipline that can hollow out a partnership from the inside.
Of course two capable people can build an entire life together and still feel unseen inside it. With the right support, this does not have to stay the closest distance you have ever felt to someone. That begins here.
Partnership means
going from:
Handling each other like two executives on the same account, to actually resting in the same room.
Performing partnership in public and negotiating it in private, to being the same two people in both rooms.
Rehearsing the same argument to finally naming what it was always about.
Being two people who mostly share a mortgage and a calendar, to being two people who chose each other on purpose.
Carrying your individual history into every disagreement, to understanding what you are each actually protecting.
That's exactly what couples therapy at
Sterling Counseling is designed to do.
This work makes room for what composure has been covering for in your relationship.
We focus on the attachment patterns, cultural context, and individual histories actually driving your conflict, not just the argument on the surface, so you can respond to each other instead of running each other like an account.
As the pattern loosens, the way you fight changes, the way you repair changes, and the partnership you built starts to feel like the one you actually wanted.
Here is how the
work unfolds.
Step 01: We name what's actually happening between you
Your first sessions map the real pattern underneath the fight you keep having: the attachment histories, cultural context, and individual trauma each of you brought into this relationship, so you both finally understand what you are actually fighting about.
Step 2: We untangle what each of you is protecting
Using Emotion Focused and attachment based work, we slow down the moments that spiral fastest, so you can see what your partner is defending underneath the defensiveness, and what you are defending underneath yours.
Step 3: We rebuild how you repair
You leave with a way of disagreeing, repairing, and staying close that does not require either of you to perform. What gets rebuilt here is built to hold, in private and in public.
Hi, I'm Olivia Sterling, LCSW
I specialize in couples therapy for high performers
I've spent over twelve years working with high achieving BIPOC and LGBTQ+ couples navigating the exact gap between the partnership they present and the one they are actually living. Many of the couples I work with are brilliant, accomplished, and completely fluent in managing everyone else, until they sit down across from each other.
Composure was never meant to replace connection. This work stays concierge in feel and clinical in substance, so neither of you has to translate your context before the real work can begin.
You don't have to
keep carrying this relationship on your own.
Let's build a partnership that can hold both of your realities, the one you show the world and the one you only show each other. If you're ready for a room where neither of you has to perform composure, schedule your consultation and let's begin.
Investment: $225 per 55 minute couples session
- A free 15 minute consultation to confirm fit before you commit to anything
- An initial 20+ minute intake session ($250) to map your history, patterns, and goals as a couple
- 55 minute follow up sessions ($225), scheduled weekly or biweekly depending on what your relationship needs
- Telehealth sessions for privacy and flexibility around two demanding calendars
“Olivia has walked with me from emerging to young adulthood, and in doing so I've become more present and assured due to her therapeutic process. Olivia's deep clinical expertise coupled with her worldliness forge an expansive approach to healing—a journey that's been a worthwhile investment of time and energy. Being under Olivia's care has allowed me to re-imagine life stressors and become reacquainted with joy. If there's any part of you that wants to come home to yourself, Sterling Counseling Services is the space to do so. Olivia's work feels more like a calling than just a duty, and I recommend her wholeheartedly. Thank you!”
— S.T.
“I have worked with Olivia since 2021 and cannot emphasize how transformative of an experience I have had over the last six years. I am immeasurably privileged to have had the opportunity to work with her through some of the most challenging years of my twenties. Olivia is one of my biggest supporters and confidants, and always there to listen without judgement. She has equipped me with tools and techniques to manage my anxiety and navigate turbulent moments and life changes. During a time when I felt truly "stuck," she was patient and compassionate. Through the years, she has encouraged me to develop the confidence to move forward and pursue some of my most lofty goals. We have explored topics like family dynamics, relationships, grief and career changes. One of the best things about my time working with Olivia has been her ability to help me reconnect with parts of myself that I felt like I forgot about. Olivia encouraged me to pursue one of my already existing but somewhat dormant hobbies, including running. I took up running again, which has brought me so much peace and mental clarity and I am pleased to say that I got into the New York City Marathon this fall. I highly recommend her services to anyone looking for trauma-informed care to help them feel "unstuck" and reconnect with themselves.”
— JP.
“My experience with Sterling Counseling has been transformative. Olivia's style allows me to feel comfortable and safe while working through the toughest moments of my life. Therapy here doesn't feel like a chore, but an active part of my mental wellness routine with tools and recommendations that are easy to act on. No matter what I come into a session with - whether it is grief, depression, fears, work stress, or life changes - Olivia helps me work through it all with such care. I'm so grateful for everything Sterling Counseling has done for me.”
— R.C.
"Working with Olivia has been such a gift. She’s patient, kind, insightful, compassionate, adaptable, and attentive (aka everything that you’d want a therapist to embody). But something that makes working with her feel really special and safe is her cultural and sociopolitical fluency. She understands that just like trauma, our identities and our worlds are complex, and she does a brilliant job honoring and holding all of those complexities in balance. I feel really seen in her care, and through her guidance and support, I’ve been able to build my skill set and resilience for navigating life’s challenges, and find my way back to reclaiming my voice and sense of self.”
— CB.
“Olivia has helped me thoughtfully navigate several major transitions in my romantic relationships, familial relationships, friendships, my career, and my mental and physical health. She has skillfully blended different therapeutic modalities to help me address my unique circumstances and challenges, so I always feel like I have a way to approach the things I bring to therapy that is tailored exactly to me. Olivia balances challenging me to think differently when necessary, while also remaining warm and non-judgmental. I have made significant progress with my overall mental health. Thanks to my work with Olivia, I know myself better, I am managing my challenges better, and I feel empowered."
— SG.
“Olivia has walked with me from emerging to young adulthood, and in doing so I've become more present and assured due to her therapeutic process. Olivia's deep clinical expertise coupled with her worldliness forge an expansive approach to healing—a journey that's been a worthwhile investment of time and energy. Being under Olivia's care has allowed me to re-imagine life stressors and become reacquainted with joy. If there's any part of you that wants to come home to yourself, Sterling Counseling Services is the space to do so. Olivia's work feels more like a calling than just a duty, and I recommend her wholeheartedly. Thank you!”
— S.T.
“I have worked with Olivia since 2021 and cannot emphasize how transformative of an experience I have had over the last six years. I am immeasurably privileged to have had the opportunity to work with her through some of the most challenging years of my twenties. Olivia is one of my biggest supporters and confidants, and always there to listen without judgement. She has equipped me with tools and techniques to manage my anxiety and navigate turbulent moments and life changes. During a time when I felt truly "stuck," she was patient and compassionate. Through the years, she has encouraged me to develop the confidence to move forward and pursue some of my most lofty goals. We have explored topics like family dynamics, relationships, grief and career changes. One of the best things about my time working with Olivia has been her ability to help me reconnect with parts of myself that I felt like I forgot about. Olivia encouraged me to pursue one of my already existing but somewhat dormant hobbies, including running. I took up running again, which has brought me so much peace and mental clarity and I am pleased to say that I got into the New York City Marathon this fall. I highly recommend her services to anyone looking for trauma-informed care to help them feel "unstuck" and reconnect with themselves.”
— JP.
Testimonials
Frequently Asked Questions
How much does couples therapy cost in NYC?
Rates in New York City vary by therapist and specialization. At Sterling Counseling, a 55 minute couples session is $225, and you can start with a free 15 minute consultation to confirm fit before committing to anything further.
What percentage of couples stay together after couples therapy?
Outcomes depend on the approach used and how early a couple starts. Emotion Focused Therapy, the modality used in this practice, has been shown in research to move a majority of couples from distress toward a more secure connection. The goal here is never staying together for its own sake. It is giving you both the clarity to build the relationship you actually want, together or apart.
When is it too late for couples therapy?
There is rarely a hard deadline. The longer two people manage each other instead of turning toward each other, the more there is to untangle, but that does not mean the window has closed. If you are both still willing to sit in the same room, even resentfully, there is usually something here worth working with.
What is the 5 5 5 rule in couples therapy?
The 5 5 5 rule is a communication exercise some therapists use: five minutes for one partner to speak, five minutes for the other to listen without responding, and five minutes to reflect back what was heard. It can be a useful tool. In this practice, it is one piece of a larger attachment based approach built around your specific history, not a script handed to you in place of the work.
When not to do couples therapy?
Couples therapy is not built to force a relationship to survive, and it is not a substitute for individual safety planning in situations involving active abuse. Outside of those circumstances, most couples willing to be in the room together, even in conflict, are appropriate candidates for this work.
Do you accept insurance for couples therapy?
Sterling Counseling operates as a private pay practice, which keeps sessions fully individualized instead of shaped around what a diagnosis code will cover. A superbill is available on request if your plan offers out of network reimbursement, though many plans do not cover couples work specifically. We can talk through your options on your free consultation.
What is your cancellation policy?
Sessions require 24 hours notice to reschedule or cancel. Given the demands on both of your calendars, we understand life happens, and we will always work with you to find a time that actually holds.
What if only one of us is fully on board with couples therapy?
That is more common than not, and it is not a reason to wait. Most couples arrive with one partner more ready than the other. Part of the early work is making the room feel safe enough that the more hesitant partner can show up as themselves, not just as the one who agreed to come.
You already know that managing
each other is not the same as being close to each other.
There is a version of this relationship where you both get to stop performing and start actually resting together. Sterling Counseling is the room built to hold two high achieving partners at the same time, without asking either of you to shrink.
Ready to find out what is actually underneath the argument you keep having? Schedule your free consultation and let's begin.
